On Life

It's funny, but lately I have been feeling in a different sort of funk.  A good funk.  And I was feeling like I couldn't or shouldn't share.  I am happy.  I am a generally extremely optimistic person.  I know that can seem annoying, but it is real.  The real me.  Even with all the crap of the past few weeks (see last post) I am happy.  Not that my kids were sick or that we were without heat, but in my center, happy.  And I decided, looking into my 34th year, which starts next month, that I am not going to apologize by omission anymore.  I know life isn't all sunshine and rainbows shooting out of every orifice.  Yes, things in my life are hard and we have things that are much less than pleasant to deal with, but I am lucky in so many ways.  I choose to see the glass as mostly full.  I love what each day brings even when I am frazzled and frustrated and there is way more stuff that needs to be done than I want to do, but I am happy.  I was feeling like I shouldn't share this because people may view me as a fraud.  You know something, I don't care, because I know that I put it all out there.  When it's ugly, I say it is.  When it's great, I want to say it's great.  I don't say this to flaunt my life, I say this because it is how I feel about my life.  Yes, I worry about lots of things and people and situations, but I make a very big effort to see things in the best possible light.  Everything happens for a reason, this too shall pass, everything has to be somewhere...these are all things that my Mom always has said to me, and I used to roll my eyes and not think much of it, but now?  I understand.  We get to learn from everything.  We get to try again.  We get to have all of these wonderful, messy, awful, amazing, enlightening, life altering things.  And we get to become.  We get to teach our children how to be.  We get to be here for such a short time.  I hope this doesn't offend anyone.  Please know that I think of my friends and family who are going through less than happy stuff, I think about the terrible devastation in Japan, I do my part in trying to support many different charities and causes, I try to make a difference. I try to teach my children to care for others, to be considerate.  We try to do lots of little thing to brighten the days of others.  It is amazing how much difference one tiny gesture can make, both good and bad.  I like to go out of my way to fill up space with good.  For me this has been an awakening.  I used to hide my happy.  I used to hide a lot of the great things in order to not seem fake, but honestly, I'm all done with that.  I am happy, I am truthful, I love what is going on for our family right now.  I love my friends and will support them all in whatever comes.  I will feel sad, and I do about some things,  but  for now, I am unapologetically happy, content, and peaceful with who I am. I can feel a shift, and I like it.