Thursday, March 11, 2010

Weirdness I never thought I would experience

A few weeks ago we went downtown on a Saturday.  We went to walk around and to enjoy the shops.  There is a great toy store, a comic book shop, and many other fun family friendly places to see.  At the comic book shop, they sell these plush things called, "giant microbes". They are fuzzy friendly looking replicas of germs.  Who knew by sewing eyes on something, you could make the swine flu look adorable?  The girls, of course fell in love with them.  They were eight bucks a piece and I was not willing to shell out that kind of money for a friendly germ that unlike a real germ would probably gone, lost to the toy gods in a matter of days.  They decided to save their allowances and to come back when they had enough money.  Will and I were sure that they would forget all about them.  Fast forward two weeks.  They all asked to go to the comic book store to buy their germs.  Since it was a nice day to walk around, we agreed and set off.  Upon arrival there was much cooing by all three girls over the adorable creatures.  They spent a good ten minutes deciding on which ones they wanted.  Lilly chose "earache" which looks like a peach colored peanut still in the shell.  Cute enough.  Allie chose "Black Death" which looks like a skinny black jellybean.  Fine.  Maya decided that since she had enough money, (she had been saving a long time prior to discovering these gems) she would get two.  She settled on "earache" like Lilly and, wait for it...Gonorrhea.  My three year old chose to purchase Gonorrhea, which looks similar to earache, but with blue eyes and gray fur).  I tried to steer her toward something less disgusting, more appropriate, like mad cow or the flu, but no, Gonorrhea it was.  Ok.  So because most of the girls money is in coin form, we have them tell us how much is in their banks, and we front them the money if they want something and we are out somewhere.  I should have known better because Maya is still shaky on credit, and had her bring her actual money.  So we got in the car, after stopping to get coffee for the grownups, and I started explaining again that she would have to hand over her money when we got home because of her purchases.  She howled, and I decided she needed a visual interpretation of the transaction.  It went a little something like this:
Me: (holding earache and Gonorrhea) See, Maya if you want to buy them, you have to give me that money.
Maya: (holding a wad of paper money I had handed her) O-kaaaay, hands me the money.
Me: See, you give me the money, (handing over the microbes) and I give you earache and Gonorrhea.
Will: Sprays mouthful of coffee all over the dashboard of the car.
Seriously, the things that I never thought would come out of my mouth.  No please, Fate, let this be the only time my baby ever deals with Gonorrhea.  Oh, and seriously, they have not left her side for a week and a half.  Of course.
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/   if you're interested in getting Gonorrhea for yourself.

5 comments:

London said...

Too funny!

Joanna said...

Oh, you just made my day. This is one of the funniest things I've ever read.

My brother gave me mad cow disease for Christmas one year. I'm so glad he didn't give me gonorrhea.

(Oh, this is comedy gold!)

Lindsay said...

Freakin' hilarious! Love it!

Heidi O said...

I just can't believe they make stuff toys like that! Funny!

Julie said...

Man, I am cracking up over here! Its so funny that she is so attached to her lovable sweet gonorrhea.