What I Always Wanted to be When I Grew Up

I didn't. I had no plan. I was never one of those kids who said, " I want to be a doctor, or vet, or something else. My mom says that when I was three, I wanted to be "a window washer, a teacher, and a baby's mother". I don't remember that, but I know that I have always wanted children, and that I never wanted them to go to daycare. I miss them too much when we are apart. I went to college and took classes in social work and education, in equal numbers, and around my junior year, my advisor made me pick a major. I knew I liked helping people, so I thought social work, but teachers also help people and are in desperate need (as I am sure are social workers) plus they get lots of vacations (Joan, please let's not have this argument again), so I chose education. The problem was, I never really wanted to be a teacher. I had a few jobs after college, and liked them all ok, but nothing really stood out. I worked in daycare, I substitute taught, I took care of my in-laws who were sick, and I worked in a classroom with behaviorally challenged children. I knew I loved kids, and when Lilly was born I went back to work in daycare so I could spend the day with her. The problem was, I still had to pay for her even though I was caring for her all day. When Allie came along, I couldn't afford to work and put two in daycare (nor did I desire to) so I decided to stay home and do daycare out of my house. This has worked out really well for us, but when Maya goes to school in three years, I will no longer keep the business going. I finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up. I figured it out two weeks after Maya was born. Maya was admitted to the hospital at thirteen days old with a right side Chylothorax. What is that you are probably wondering? It is when there is a hole or tear in the Thoracic Duct in the chest. The Thoracic Duct processes fats, and if there is a tear in it, those fats and proteins spill into the chest cavity, and surround the lungs. Not good. She was breathing faster than normal so I took her to the doctor and she sent us to the hospital for a chest x-ray. Needless to say, her chest was full of fluid. She ended up staying in the hospital for 25 days. I never left. I couldn't. She was my baby, and I couldn't imagine her being there without me. I didn't care who else was with us, I wasn't leaving. My husband brought the girls by often, but because of Maya's weak immune system, I didn't get to see them for a week. This was the hardest time of my life. My Mom was with us most of the time, and she's a nurse so that was helpful, but the thing that made all the difference (besides my family) was the amazing team of nurses we had. I cannot express how amazing they were, and how much it helped having a few really experienced, caring, consistent people shaped our experience. They inspired me so much that now I know what I am supposed to do. I am going back to school to become a pediatric nurse. I have done most of the pre-requisite work, and the school nearby has a 15 month program where if you already have a bachelors degree, you can become an RN in that short period of time. I can't wait to begin. I think I finally found the thing I am destined to do, and I can't wait to start.